This realization made me so sad. The more we fight something, the more it clings to us. Waving frantically at the bee makes it fight harder to stay alive.
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The same goes for trauma. And much of what I described above was traumatic, no question about it. Am I telling you to accept the pain and injury? Yes I am.
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It takes two partners to fight, so when we stop fighting, the other partner is left hanging. Pause and consider this. We fight our trauma so we don't feel it again but it clings even tighter and causes more pain. Think about that muscle you pulled at the gym last week. Do you fight it and keep working out at the same rate or do you pause, massage it, heat it and let it be?
When we hold our pain with a loving heart, we disarm its power. It no longer has the power to make you angry or sad or insecure. Yes, she was mean to me.
Ho hum. For years I beat myself up for letting people treat me poorly. Surely I deserved it because I trusted them or didn't speak up.
Surely I was stupid to trust them. Surely I was… And my friends agreed with me when I whined about it. They were doing the same thing to themselves so they didn't know any better. The original traumas plus the self-criticism were a strong combination and I was unhappy for years. My twenties sucked and my early thirties were not much better in terms of self-confidence.
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This is something I see over and over with my clients. The turning on the self so as not to accept that someone was shitty and that you were powerless to stop it. Why do I keep choosing toxic workplaces? What is wrong with me? Believe me. Believe me when I tell you that self-awareness and compassion are waaaay more effective in healing ourselves and moving forward.
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Acceptance that the trauma will always be there in the background, that we can sometimes be powerless to stop others from hurting us, that they are responsible for the hurt and we are not, that we are responsible for how we react not how they act, that we can heal our wounds with compassion and self love, that we can carry these experiences and not have them drive our story of ourselves. She claimed her parents saw her public political proclamations and financially cut her off. She said they would no longer be paying her tuition.
She attached a screenshot of text conversation that she claimed was between her and her mom, saying her mom had kicked her out of the house for her newfound political affiliations. Even though MAGA supporters tried to rally both emotional and financial support for her , Quran also attracted a lot of people online who could only muster an eyeroll at her situation. When reached, Quran admitted to BuzzFeed News over Twitter DM that she made up the entire event — including the screenshotted texts with her mom.
Langley residents warned to watch out for sob story – Langley Advance Times
She stated that she doesn't "really support Trump" and that she couldn't "act like I support Trump genuinely. In an interview with New York magazine , Quran said she simply decided to "capitalize" off of all of the recent efforts by Republicans to shed the reputation that they're "mostly racist. He confirmed all four donors have been refunded. The campaign was reviewed and removed from the platform," Wilthorne said.
She said she wasn't planning on actually taking anyone's money, and that her only goal was to sell herself as "the finesse queen. Tanya Chen is a social news reporter for BuzzFeed and is based in Chicago.
Contact Tanya Chen at tanya.