The Devils Dictionary

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A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art. As it is too long to be read at a sitting the impressions made by its successive parts are successively effaced, as in the panorama. Unity, totality of effect, is impossible; for besides the few pages last read all that is carried in mind is the mere plot of what has gone before.

To the romance the novel is what photography is to painting.

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Its distinguishing principle, probability, corresponds to the literal actuality of the photograph and puts it distinctly into the category of reporting; whereas the free wing of the romancer enables him to mount to such altitudes of imagination as he may be fitted to attain; and the first three essentials of the literary art are imagination, imagination and imagination. The art of writing novels, such as it was, is long dead everywhere except in Russia, where it is new.

Peace to its ashes — some of which have a large sale. The part of the world lying west or east of the Orient. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.

The Devils Dictionary

The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile. Being a blind faith, it is inaccessible to the light of disproof — an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death.

It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.

The variable an audible part of the roadway for an automobile. A rich and usually bald old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises. Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. A literary coincidence compounded of a discreditable priority and an honorable subsequence. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read. An implement that cries aloud for hands accustomed to the pen.

To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

The leading figure in a small group of men of whom — and of whom only — it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day. A North American Indian, whose skin is not red — at least not on the outside. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.

In this country satire never had more than a sickly and uncertain existence, for the soul of it is wit, wherein we are dolefully deficient, the humor that we mistake for it, like all humor, being tolerant and sympathetic. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

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Author's Preface The Devil's Dictionary was begun in a weekly paper in , and was continued in a desultory way at long intervals until Perhaps; possibly. To venerate expectantly. A nigger that votes our way. To lay the foundation for a future offence. Jorace back , n. To make an ingrate. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

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See husband. A critic of our own work. A body of men who meet to repeal laws. The patriotic art of lying for one's country. A method of confirming others in their errors.

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Aramis Loto Frope future , n. A broad-gauge gossip. Your irreverence toward my deity. One skilled in circumvention of the law. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion — thus: Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man. Uncommon extension of the fear of death. Something acted upon by magnetism. Something acting upon a magnet. The final and funniest folly of the rich. A stronghold of provincialism. The comparative degree of too much.

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  • A child of two races, ashamed of both. The eleventh twelfth of a weariness. A sign that something will happen if nothing happens.